Becoming a bionic woman

Well nothing seems too funny so far but the thing that did keep me postive was the nursing staff. There was a couple who were lots of laughs.

Nurse 1: He’ll be here soon. Aren’t you lucky? He is lovely.

Nurse 2: Who are you talking about?

Nurse 1: YOU know.

Nurse 2: You’re talking about **** – the surgeon!

Nurse 1: Yes.

Nurse 2: (laugher)

Nurse 1: (To me) He’s a cyclist you know. Can’t you just imagine those lovely little buns in bike shorts on the bike seat? Mmmmmm.

And as she organises the passive knee bender and sets the angle to which it will bend my very swollen, painful knee she says “So which marathon will we compete in today.” Then I find after she has gone, and the machine has been going for 1 1/2 hours she set it way higher than I thought!

Now the passive knee bender is an amazing machine, a clever idea, and i think one of the reasons why I am doing so well. Like a cradle, you lie the leg into it, set the angle, start the machine, and it steadily and slowly bends up to the angle, and lowers to flat, bends up to the angle, and bends to flat. I could go for an hour and a half easily – in fact I went to sleep every time.

Talking of doing well, yesterday I was five weeks out from having the surgery. I am not in pain, although my knee, and leg gets achy sometimes (gardening does it! and long car trips). I am off both crutches and walking easily without a limp. I have been back to the surgeon for my checkup and he says I’m like someone 8 weeks out.

Merry Xmas to me. Well done! Amazing what they can do these days! Oh to have something that can easily be fixed.

Next time – four days in hospital and it’s time to go home.

My sister dropped me off and left for work. I sat on the edge of the bed and the paper work was begun. I was weighed and left to complete the forms.

Dressing for theatre: “Here is your gear, slippers and a funny coat. Leave you knickers on.” Funny I came back without them.

The anaesthetist made his visit. He was Russian! Lovely gentle, polite man, with a quick smile.

The surgeon pops in marks my leg with a felt pen (a felt pen!! – this is not art class) and says “See you soon.” I am glad I know him from last time, it makes it easier some how.

And with the forms done, the visits over i wait.

But not for long, I am first up, I arrived at 7 am and it is nearly 9 and I’m off. I walk with the nurse down the corridor to theatre and meet the ‘team’. Instructed to sit on the side of the bed a I’m given tablets to take and I know they will numb me senseless, my ‘funny coat’ is opened at the back and I’m instructed to curl forward curving my spine in preparation for the epidural.

Funny how someone who is independent, strong, determined applies themself to being totally dependent, agreeable, and I do exactly as I’m asked, waiting, waiting …

For the dull ache of the epidural, for the flush of warmth, then the nothing from the waist down. I can’t even lift my legs up onto the bed, they can’t be mine, must be someone elses. The nurse lifts them up, I lie down and the green sheet appears before me.

On and off I’m aware of people around me, movement, sound …

Sound! That’s hammering, my body is bobbing back and forth on the bed. Must be me that is being hammered. Interesting.

My hand is going to sleep. I’ll move it. It won’t move. “Excuse me,” I ask the anaesthetist, “Can I move my hands?””Of course you can.” “But I can’t.” He pulls my arm, nothing. He looks further.  The protective sheeting was fixed into position with good firm sticky tape. My hand was caught in between . That’s funny I think, good story for later.

“Well that’s it,” says the surgeon. “Just the staples and you’re off.” I can hear them thunking in, all 31 (I counted them later as they came out.)

Next thing I know I’m being helped from the surgical bed to my own bed and off we go back to my room, and I fall asleep.

When I was sixteen (a few years ago now) I fell on a slippery path running up to the gate to meet the undertaker the night my father died. First injury to knee. A minor consideration in my family at the time and treated with anti inflammatories.

Off and on for many years I had trouble with the knee. It would lock up and I would massage around the knee cap until it released. When it locked up it was very painful. Finally when I was 46 I had a laproscopy (keyhole surgery) and several floating ‘bits’ were removed. However I was told that osteoarthritis had already set in and I would need a full knee replacement in about 10 years. Celebration – I lasted 15 years.

In the meantime my right hip became a problem and 2 and a bit years ago I had a hip replacement. I had surgical insurance but at the time in the city I lived in in NZ I couldn’t get in for surgery for months!!

Well ,  there is always answer I believe. I asked advice at my GP and with his backing went to look for a surgeon and hospital somewhere other than the region in which I lived. Scored on the first hit – a town several hours away where my sister lived. I was in for surgery in 6 weeks. Four months after I received a call from the original surgeon’s office giving me a date for an initial visit. Sorry I said, I don’t need the appointment, I’ve had my new hip for weeks.

Having major surgery brought up some questions I had to make a decision that I was totally unprepared or informed to make – Do you want general anaesthetic or an epidural? Well, I said the the anaesthetist would what you do? So I had the epidural and was very grateful for the advice that saved the struggle out of anaesthetic with nightmares and nausea.  On the visit to hospital for my knee replacement it was easy, I knew what was coming and these decisions were made prior to being admitted.

next time … in hospital.

I should have started at the start but oh well, didn’t think of blogging till now. I am 2 weeks and 5 days into my recovery from a full knee replacement. Right knee, same side as the hip replacement I had just over 2 years ago.

I am recovering really well. I’m very mobile on 2 crutches and about ready to drop to one around home. Will take two on the missions down the road. I will be driving before Xmas!!!, she said with determination. Xmas is the 6 week mark. I’m allowed to drive once off the crutches.

I am a 58 year old woman, a widow, with 2 adult children and a gorgeous grandson who is 9 years old. I own my own home and live alone. I love gardening, theatre, reading, travel, swimming, friends and family.

I’m going to blog in retrospect from here and document the process. Watch for da next blog.